The True Gentleman Initiative Library Parent Resources Module - 10D

We Stand Together - How to Advise your Child If he is Hazed

Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapters are to be hazing free.  Sometimes, however, in chapter, individual bad actors break these rules.  While we do everything within our power to correct these bad actions, we ask that, as partners with us, you be aware for signs that your son may be in need of assistance.  Here are some steps that you can use to perhaps identify and help him.

Below is a brief list of signs of hazing. 

  1. 1. Trust your common sense. If you question the value, safety, or potential negative impact of an activity, then you have the right to express concern and get an explanation. Start by asking your child to explain the things the group is requiring him to participate in to become a member. If he is resistant or simply will not answer you, then that should be a red flag. 

  2. Is your child engaging in activities meant to earn his place with an organization inconsistent with his character or are the activities embarrassing or abusive.

  3. Is your son losing weight, sleeping excessively or always tired, avoiding coming home or staying out late, having trouble sitting and/or showing signs of depression?

  4. Is your son’s academic performance decreasing?

  5. Is your son not allowed to talk with other friends or family members? 
How to Advise Your Child
  1. If your child is being hazed, they might express concern directly to you. In this case, you should do everything in your power to encourage your child to stop participating in any acts of hazing immediately. Try to get as much information you can from your son about the hazing activities, the perpetrators, and time and places of events. If you know of any activities that would be considered hazing it’s your responsibility to inform someone. Sigma Alpha Epsilon wants your son to have a great experience.

  2. Sometimes, your child will downplay hazing by stating "It's not a big deal" or "Don't worry about it, I can handle it". You should not accept these common responses and continue to discourage your child from participating in these activities. 
If your conversation with your child leaves you with unresolved concern or suspicion of hazing activity(s) then you need to contact 1-888-NOT-HAZE. When contacting the hotline, you may be very upset, but remember to stay calm and leave a very detailed message.